Before conflict can be resolved, it needs to be understood. The way we learned to connect — or disconnect — in childhood often becomes the template for how we show up in our adult relationships.
Did you grow up with a parent who was distant, unpredictable, or emotionally unsafe? Was there a sibling who got all the attention, while you learned to go quiet or stay small? If you or your partner experienced insecure attachments early in life, there’s a good chance those patterns are playing out now — whether you realise it or not.
You might notice patterns like:- Walking on eggshells, constantly bracing for the next conflict
- One partner clings while the other pulls away, both feeling misunderstood
- Holding onto resentment and replaying past hurts in your mind
- Feeling dismissed, unseen, or like your emotions don’t matter
- Conversations turn into courtroom battles where you’re both defending, not listening
- Emotions boil over into threats to leave, shut down, or give up
This kind of emotional tug-of-war can leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, and uncertain about what comes next.
While couples therapy can’t guarantee it will fix your relationship, it
can show you how the past is playing out in the present — and give you practical strategies to resolve conflict, rebuild trust, and finally work as a team.
You need the right support, so you can repair the damage and feel close again.